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The 5 Most Embarrassing Ways to Die in an FPS

 Ever since Wolfenstein for the PC came out, we’ve been fragging and lagging in our favorite FPS games. Popularity of this unique genre has brought in new attention through annual tournaments and LAN Parties across the world. Where would PC gaming, or even console gaming, be without the First-Person Shooter? Humiliating opponents or yourself is hard to accomplish in most scenarios, but when done can give such a rewarding feeling to the gamer (or a broken keyboard if it happens to be you.) Shortly after that feeling, the words “LOL”, “PWNED”, or “SKEET SKEET SKEET” will usually appear on the screen, or be laughed through the microphone. I’ve come up with a list of ways that I, as a gamer, believe are some of the most devastating kills that embarrass gamers.


5. The Other ‘nade’ kill
Number 5 - The “Other” Nade Kill

Counter-Strike Source is a fairly new game. A hybrid between the Source engine and Counter-Strike, this popular mod is the top shooter of the decade. Little remains changed from the original game, but a key element was noticeably re-done for Counter-Strike Source, the grenade.

Grenades in Counter-Strike Source throw differently than in the original Counter-Strike. Flashbangs produce greater and longer lasting effects, while smoke grenades produce a pure black smoke which is impossible to see through when inside. When grenades are thrown at enemies or teammates, they take away a measly 1 hit point in damage. It is sad to die by this. Even though you know you have 1 hit point left, you don’t want to die from a smoke grenade or flashbang. When it happens, it’ll definitelyattract a good amount of “LOL” remarks.

4 – Crushing People
Number 4 - Crushing People

This isn’t a well-known technique, at least in First-Person Shooters. Crushing sounds like it was taken straight of Mario, but it’s there in some shooters. One in particular is the fast-paced Unreal Tournament 2003/04 series. Jumping on an enemy’s head does 1 damage for each successful bounce. This is often discovered by people on accident, but on rare occasions will sadly frag a player with low HP.

3 – Cratering
Number 3 - Cratering

Cratering is included in nearly every First-Person Shooter. Player A decides to go next to a cliff. Player B can either blast him off the cliff, or just watch himaccidently jump off and plummet to a quick death. This is one of my favorites to see happen in live action. It’ll often cause me to outburst in laughter, how can anyone be so stupid to fall off the cliff? Surely enough the next time I play the same game and map, I find myself to be the one falling off the exact same cliff -_-. Definitely a worthy embarrassing death.

2 – The Shank
Number 2 - The Shank

The shank, a classic in all shooters. There is always that one melee weapon that nobody ever uses other than for the sole purpose to embarrass someone with. The shank is by far the weapon to embarrass any gamer with.

The most popular shank to date is obviously the knife in Counter-Strike. Sneaking up to an unsuspecting enemy and sticking that cold steel in his back is as rewarding to you as it is degrading to the opponent. We’ve definitely all been there and done that in Counter-Strike.

One of the more hardcore shanks definitely has to be the Gauntlet in Quake III Arena. This fast paced game rarely sees action from this weapon, but it is absolutely the greatest embarrassment shank to date in any game. Not only are you killing a person with a melee weapon in a world of Railguns and Lightning Guns, but the announcer indulges in the action by calling out the kill with the famous quote, “HUMILIATION!”

 1 – The Telefrag
Number 1 - The Telefrag

Telefragging has become an art in First-Person Shooters. Suprisingly, telefragging has been around since Doom. The embarrassment still remains impassable in most cases. Gamer A has 12hp, and desperately needs a frag to kill his stacked opponent, Gamer B. With health and armor in the triple digits, Gamer B has no idea where he is standing. Gamer A suddenly enters the entrance to the portal which warps him insideof Gamer B, instantly gibbing him. The player of Gamer B goes on to mash his keyboard in, while Gamer A spams “LOL” a million times through text.

Not only has this played a huge factor in multiplayer, one game in particular brought this to a whole new height. Quake I for PCwas a blast to play through, but what made it sweet was the epic ending. Shub-Niggurath was the final boss in the final map of Quake I. Typical boss right? Just gun him down with all of your arsenal, right? Not at all, this boss had a special death pact for him. You controlled his destiny by entering that special portal at the perfect time. Telefragging the final boss… nothing can beat that. Having a shower of gibs pour down while a “Congratulations” banner was shown was such an enjoyable sight.

Unreal Tournamentre-defined telefragging. Not only could you do it through portals, now you had a “Translocator” to do the work for you. The Translocator’s teleport exit disc would be shot with primary fire, while secondary fire teleported you to the location of the disc. If timed correctly, this uplifting move would instantly gibany unsuspecting player. Like other telefrags, it didn’t matter if he had 150 shield or none, it was an instant kill every time.

Telefrags will be around as long as the FPS genre is around. There is no denying the embarrassment of being telefragged, which is why I believe it is the most embarrassing way to die in an FPS.


December 17, 2007 - Posted by | Gaming

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